There’s going to be a full moon. It always strongly affects me. I’m emotional and sensitive as it is, but when the moonlight gets brighter and stronger, everything gets even worse. 

It’s been a tough day. Tough on the mind. My quiet thoughts that mull things over: What have I achieved in life, what can I improve, what can I change, what could be better; who do I miss and why; what would I like to change about myself and what I could never give up.

``There's going to be a full moon.``

I’m lying on a large, old tree trunk by Lake Pieman. A strong wind is ruffling the branches of the tall trees. Fire is not allowed in this remote, Southwestern part of Tasmania. There are no high temperatures, no tough droughts, and a rainforest surrounds us on a large end of this island. I hear the last breaths of the flaming wood. The wind is creating waves on the surface of the lake, with the moon, that’s almost full, bathing in it. A few hours until it becomes full. 

I miss her. Her, and all the others smiling down from the sky.

I finally find my peace after a mentally tough day, when I open my eyes and see the clouds above me. I play with the shapes when I suddenly see her.

She’s smiling at me from the sky. It’s been a year since she said goodbye and went to find her peace. My aunt, who was always full of energy, good-natured and ready for mischief. This and that. I miss her! She smiled a wide smile at me from the sky; it sneaked up on my face for a moment as well. I cried afterwards. I miss her. Her, and all the others smiling down from the sky. Grandparents, uncles and pets. Dog Boni, with whom we ran across the meadows when I was struggling with puberty, and cat Kimi, who warmed me every time I needed a hug. 

They’re not with me anymore.

All photos are from Lake Saint Clair

``That’s what I’m proud of. Of my family, which I always carry with me.``

I rarely regret anything in life. But I will probably regret that I didn’t have enough time for them for a long time. For those that meant a lot to me and played a huge part in my life. Because of them I also realize and know how much family means to me and what an important role it plays in my life.

We’re special. Large. Branched. Not just branched, outstretched. But we love each other. We have accepted each other and know how to enjoy our moments together. Even though they are rare. It’s what makes them even more special. It’s what connects us even more. And that’s what I’m proud of. Of my family, which I always carry with me.

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